A Poem Written From A Nurse’s Heart

I composed a poem this morning.  My best time to write and be creative is alway first thing in the morning with my cup of coffee and silence.  I suppose I am going to have to learn to get up before the kids do since I am going to homeschool them.  Read my Poem and don’t be afraid to tell me what you think.

Click here to read The Nurse’s Heart

Monday, Monday

Saturday for me.  I have been sitting at this computer “catching up” on all the things that have been happening on my different sites that I participate on.  I wrote two amazon articles on HubPages, I have been having good luck lately with them.  My Google adsense account was disabled months ago.  A little advice don’t put all your eggs in the Google basket.  I still love Google there isn’t  a better search engine out there as far as I am concerned.  More good news Kontera has lowered their payout threshhold to $50.  I also only need about 400 more hits to possibly be eligible to get an ebay affiliate account.

Enough about that.  We had a break from the two whiners this weekend.  It was actually a fun weekend.  One of my coworkers told us about her most embarrassing moment.  I am going to share it with you.

My friend Rita had just had surgery.  She was pretty groggy.  Apparently her sister accompanied by her new husband stopped by the hospital to check on her.  Rita thought she was pulling up the sheets around her neck but she had a hold of her hospital gown and had pulled it up instead of the sheets.  You got that picture?  Oblivious to what she had done, her sister and brother-in-law started laughing so hard they couldn’t speak and poor Rita still had the gown up around her neck saying “What’s so funny?”.  Rita says they never let up about the incident for at least four months.  They still remind her about it now and then.

I am so grateful I don’t have a story like that to tell.  I can’t even think of anything that I’ve done that could top that.  We were laughing so hard yesterday about that story.  I am so grateful for people who can make me laugh.  Truly laughter is the best medicine for lack of a better quote.

• I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
• I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
• All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
• Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience.
• A smile is a language that even a baby understands.
• A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.

Another Monday

I work weekends so Monday is like normal people’s Saturday for me.  I have a child home sick from school today.  She has laid in my bed since she got up this morning.  She has a fever and sore throat.  I also got back into bed for a while after I put my other child on the bus this morning at 6:40am.

There was really bad weather and tornados on Saturday lots of damage and lives were lost.  I am praying for a quick recovery for those who were affected by the storms and tornados.  I feel like we dodged a bullet.  The town where my husband works was severely affected but the plant that he works in was spared.  If the plant was destroyed he would have been out of a job.  According to news reports the tornado was almost a mile wide and went west to east completely across north-central Mississippi. http://www.wlbt.com/Global/story.asp?S=12372981

I am encouraged to see the thoughts that I have about homeschooling are validated in the literature that I have read.  Interesting that there are so many other people who share my opinion of the school environment.  I am going to share a quote I read from one of the books I am reading.

“ Your child learns from you and the other adults and almost-adults in his life.  He gets a much better view of how life really works because he isn’t incarcerated with selection of age-mates all day long.  Your child sees wisdom at work as she watches you plan and complete tasks, interact with people in your community, and schedule your life to get (almost) everthing done.  She learns your values and morals as she listens to what you say and watches what you do.”   Jennifer Kaufeld.

That quote had me giggling, that has always been the way I felt about sending my kids to school.  Every year when the summer ended and it was time for the oldest to go back to school I got so depressed and I worried so much about him.  I still worry about them all day long when they are at school.  My son went without breakfast for the first half of the school year because he was afraid to go to breakfast and not be able to find his way back to the classroom.  I contacted the teacher about it but she did nothing.  It wasn’t until one of his buddies invited him to join him for breakfast that he actually went.  No one can look after my child like I can and it makes me feel powerless and guilty when I send them to school.  Hence the decision to try homeschooling this year.

I have wasted part of the day so far inside first looking at a ton of home listing my real estate agent sent and then going through my emails.  I intend to go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather today.  I have some reading to do.  My article for workingnurse.com is a feature today.  I am a featured user on redgage.com also.  Take a look if you get a chance.  It’s been a good day in the cyber writing world for me today.

Found a Homeschooling Support Group

I found a group of homeschoolers in my area and  yesterday.  A diverse group that plans outings, trips, and other gatherings.  I am really excited because some of them I have met round and about at certain places and didn’t know they home schooled.

I think I am going to treat myself to a trip to Barnes and Noble in a little while to see what if I can find some updated material about home schooling.  I have been given some books but the information was a outdated.  I gave my old books to my neighbor.

The books I have read astounded me.  The failure rates and the poor education in the 90′s were astronomical at least in my eyes.  They quoted  it cost millions of dollars to train people to do skilled manufacturing jobs.  Applicants have very little grasp of english and have trouble following simple written instruction.

Sure I could send my children to fancy, expensive private school.  I’ve heard the same complaints about private schools.  People are so caught up in the name that they have lost sight of the real goal…quality education.  Why should I pay big bucks to send my kids to strangers.  It still bothers me that I have sent my kids to people who I don’t know and don’t even like.  What kind of message is that sending.  I don’t voice my opinions around my kids.  My husband and I have the same opinions.  We are both on the same page when it comes to the care of our kids.  Thank goodness…without his encouragement I know I couldn’t embark on home educating my kids.

Anyhow…I must go and get ready to go to Barnes and Noble.  I have to work over the weekend but I will try to write a few paragraphs.  I have an app on my iPhone to update this blog…I love technology.  

Public School vs Homeschool…Continued

Did I mention how much I hate being a slave to other people’s agendas and schedules?  For instance;  My children attend two different schools on opposite ends of town, I can’t make it on time to drive them to opposite schools, so they have to take the bus.  If the regular bus driver is out sick (the regular driver is terrific) then the bus is usually about 20 to 45 minutes or more late.  Then they’re marked tardy and miss breakfast (they can eat breakfast in the cafeteria at school).  Why should I have to wait for people who can’t get their act together enough to be on time?

Am I selfish to want more than mediocrity from my kids?  I think that children should be challenged in the classroom.  When I was in school I don’t remember anyone challenging me and looking back I know I could have done more with encouragement.  Because I was quiet and didn’t cause trouble they just ignored me.  This is what is happening to my son.  The teacher marvels at his great behavior but says he needs more motivation…Isn’t that her job?  We motivate him constantly at home.  I still don’t understand how I can motivate him in the classroom if I’m not even there.

Kids don’t respond to our frustrations they just shut down.  At least mine do.  Maybe I am being over-protective.  I just don’t want someone else raising my kids…somone I don’t know and literally say hello to on meet the teacher night and have to trust for most of my child’s day.  Is that blind faith and a gamble or what?

One last thought.  My daughter is in kindergarten.  She gets a check mark just about every day for talking.  They have a color system if the child is on a certain color then they are good or bad.  Talking is bad?  Since when?  I can see if it is disruptive or if she said something that wasn’t nice.  No explanation and I have to acknowledge it so the teacher thinks I actually care that she was talking.  I have noticed a change in her behavior since she started school.  I didn’t send her to preschool.  She’s not always the happy sweet child that she was before I sent her to school.

The laundry and some errands are calling me.  More tomorrow.

Public School vs Homeschool

I don’t know if I mentioned this or not but I am planning to take my kids out of public school and homeschool them this year and hopefully until they are ready for highschool.  Why?…I have no quality time with my kids what-so-ever.  I put them on the bus in the morning and when they get off the bus in the afternoon they’re tired and it’s a fight over doing homework usually until it’s bedtime, not to mention all the extracurricular stuff like scouts, music, dance…Then on the weekend I go to work and work twelve-and-a-half hour days.

Then there is the fact that my kids teachers and school seem to think that they need to tell me how I should raise my children.  My kids get at least 1 to 2 hours of homework every night except Friday, barring that there isn’t some ridiculous project.  One child is in kindergarten and one in grade 3.  Who the hell ever heard of homework in kindergarten?  I still wonder what’s taught in the classroom because 9 times out of 10 I have to explain and teach them whatever is sent home.  If I don’t sit down review and explain most things with my 9-year-old he won’t know it for testing on Friday.  They have no time to be kids and I have no time to enjoy them.  I feel like the public school system has taken that away from me.  Both of my children’s schools are high-ranking schools level five…but I still don’t see why.  I honestly think it’s the parents who deserve the credit for such a high-ranking school if we didn’t do the teaching who would?

Another concern is the fact that my 9-year-old is very bright.  I feel like he’s stifled he has more potential but he is not being challenged or motivated enough in the classroom.  I cannot motivate him in the classroom I can motivate him at home but as far as the classroom goes that is the teacher’s responsibility.  I know he could be farther ahead than he is but he is not motivated to do it.  He spends more time in school than he does with me.  I think he should be with me to have the right examples of manners and behaviour how can he learn that from a group of other 8 and 9-year-old kids?  He can’t they don’t know either.

I will have to continue this discussion tomorrow.  Don’t get me wrong.  I admire really great teachers and they have a really tough job.  I even think they have a tougher job than a nurse does.  Some people have no choice but to send their children to public school and that’s a fact.  I cannot help the lacking qualities of the public school they do not let parents into the classrooms at all…I also cannot expect special treatment for my children that wouldn’t be fair.

Monday’s Thoughts

I am glad to say my work nemesis was home all weekend with strep.  Hmmm…Karma?  Don’t get me wrong I don’t think bad of her, I think bad of her behavior and I wouldn’t wish anything bad to happen to her, or anyone for the matter.  What makes someone want to treat others badly?  While I do know why in theory,  I don’t understand it.  We as humans do most things we do on a personal level by choice.  There are exceptions such as if  your life is threatened or an abused or neglected child, but that’s not the subject here is it.  I am talking about intelligent, free adults.

I never choose to make someone feel bad, so I don’t understand those who do.  Sure they aren’t happy at home, they had a bad day, they haven’t had a good night’s sleep.  Excuses!  You choose to take out your frustrations on others…no one made you do it…You are responsible…you and you alone.  It angers me to no end when someone uses an excuse for being contemptible toward someone else.  Debbie Williamson’s facebook posted this quote the other day, “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

On the other hand no one likes to be patronized.  Maybe I am too patronizing.  Maybe it’s my fault.  Hell, maybe the whole world’s attitude is my fault.  I am the world’s scapegoat.  If I wasn’t so patronizing and nice then the world would be a better place.  What do you call that?  Where is the line drawn between kind and patronizing?

I just read another post by another brilliant facebooker Angela Langston.  “We long to shred memories of bad things that others have done to us or difficult circumstances we’re going through.  The apostle Paul wanted relief from his present suffering, an infirmity that made him feel weak.  But God said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My Strength is made perfect in weakness.”  God didn’t take away the problem.  Instead, He gave Paul the grace to live with it.”

I suppose I need the grace of God to live with my infirmity, my insecurity.  That may be what it is.  I can live with the fact that not everyone will like me.  I have survived so far.  I don’t have to take abuse though.  Another thought;  Why do some people go out of their way to try discredit and find fault in other people?  In the healthcare facility that I work we are to evaluate our peers every year.  Most of the questions are about character.  One of the questions is; Does this person hold others accountable? It is not our job to police other nurses unless we are in the managing of nurses place.  I don’t agree with evaluating someone on their character.  Professionalism is a big part of being a Nurse.    I refuse to take it seriously and I always write positive evaluations of my peers…always.

I can take constructive criticism.  I am a writer I have to.  Fortunately I have had some very patient editors.  One of the things I like about the cyber world of writing is that I can hit delete and it’s all gone.  I can delete a cyber person forever too.  CLICK!…Good bye forever unless I change my mind, which could happen if you’re nice and apologize without an excuse.

Finding the Time to Write

It was 9:00 last night before I finally sat down in my recliner to relax.  I don’t know if it’s my new middle age status or the few extra pounds that I have packed on in the last little while.  I don’t ever remember my body needing to sit down that bad.  Hmmm, maybe it’s the fact that it has been at least a month since I did any serious exercise.

I need to be writing every day and I have in one form or another.  I have an article that will be soon published in workingnurse.com I do hope they ask me to do some more for them so I can get better.  They may not because they had to hold my hand a little bit and they probably don’t like that.  I just wish they would assign me to something that just involves research and not interviewing people.  I am just grateful that they gave me a chance in the first place.

Tomorrow I have to go to work. I’m not looking forward to it.  I am standing my ground on the decision to not work with that other nurse.  I know several people who refuse to work with other nurses on the unit so I will too.  What are they going to do, fire me?

Now I have to go to the grocery store and drug store.  They have discontinued the cleanser pads that I use on my face every day.  I need to find something that will work the same.  Wish me luck!

New Day and a Confession

I have something to say about people who have nothing better to do than tear people down.  I had a really stressful day at work on Sunday.  I can’t go into details but lets just say it was really horrific and sad.  Most of us have compassion and care a lot about our patients.  I say most of us.  I was in the CT suite holding a very frightened patient’s hand wearing at least 10 pounds of lead for at least an hour not to mention still getting a lot of xray exposure.  Then I had to deal with the Specials Team who was pissed because their Sunday was interrupted by a critically sick person…poor things!

Somebody please shoot me if I get to be so selfish that I have no compassion for those who are in my care!  Please God never let me not be able to treat others the way I would wish to be treated.

I digressed there a little sorry…Once I am finished helping the seemingly helpless Specials team I am finally free to go back to my other patient who has a whole bunch of orders for me to accomplish.  It’s 5:30pm  and the shift is supposed to be over at 7:00pm.   It’s soon time for report and I have a few simple things that have to be accomplished left and I leave them with the nurse who is taking over for me.  She didn’t like it at all and began stomping around.  She was acting very aggressive.  I said something to her and she completely ignored me and walked away.  This nurse then came back from the tube station with the medication that was missing and she threw it on the desk and said here it is…as though I didn’t give the medicine on purpose.  I have witnesses who saw me check the tubes at least 3 times before report time.

Unfortunately this is not the first time she has acted this way toward me.  This person constantly tries to discredit me.  I have told my nurse manager about it today because I am fed up and I don’t think it’s my place to say anything to her.  I want the manager to be aware of the way she acts toward me.  I am also going to refuse to take her patients.  I don’t think I should have to put up with her abuse any more.

Wish me luck.

Photo by: Russell Weller sxc.hu

RedGage and a New House

Trying my hand at Redgage…I am still a little confounded and it’s slow on the upload sometimes.  Hope my online friends and followers find me.  I will try to add new content to this blog as often as possible.  As for HubPages I don’t make any money there so why make so much effort.  I still like the community there and I will return there if I can get my Google Adsense account reinstated.  It has been about three months since I appealed and fixed the problem I don’t think I will ever be reinstated though so really hubpages will be where I keep in touch with other writers.  I also have a column on a magazine that a group of writers and I are trying to make a go at  southernsassafras.com It still needs a little work but time hopefully will make it better.  Johnny Newell is editor in chief and there are several others and I who contribute.

We are in the midst of trying to sell our house and buy a new one.  Anyone have any advice?  We have a great Realtor.  She has been more than helpful.  We have a counter offer on our dream house.  People think we should wait and look around some more.  Maybe we are blinded by wanting the house that we both agree on.

I need to check everyone’s homework right now and head to Wallyworld (ugh).  Be Back later and hope everyone’s Monday found them having a good day.